Thursday, January 17, 2008

Even facing death there's still something to write

I've been sick. Sick enough that I almost passed out just from taking a shower. Luckily I was able to lay down before all those spinning dots in front of my eyes took over. I called in sick from work the last couple of days and I probably should have called in some more but there's only so much laying around doing nothing that I can take.

I played a video game for a little bit but that wouldn't ever last long because all those moving images just made me dizzy. I tried to read, but I couldn't concentrate on what all those black thingies were on the page. Besides that little paperback book started to get real heavy after awhile.

There were times when I broke out into a sweat just sitting there doing nothing. And times when I was freezing. And that got me thinking. I don't have a will.

I'm single without any kids so I have no one I need to look after when I'm dead. So why should I care about all my stuff, I'll be dead? I'm sure I have some things that I'd want to go to specific members of my family but other than that? Doesn't really matter to me. But even when faced with the possibility of death (I'm exercising some creative license here) I'm still dogged by that nagging sensation that I should be writing.

I should be writing a will. I should be finishing all those half-finished stories I have piling up on my desk. If my family found those when they're going through my stuff what would they do with them? Toss them out like worthless pieces of paper? Those are my children. They live and breathe to me just as much as those flesh and blood kind do for other people. Mine just haven't finished their gestation period yet.

I don't think an author can ever make sure they've finished writing all their stories before they die. If they do they must have had only one story to tell. Me? I've got lots. And since I'm not dying I guess I should be working on finishing the gestations on some of those stories. I'd hate to see them carelessly thrown out when I die. As for everything else I own, my family can go whatever they want with it. I'll be dead so what do I care?

No comments: